As I prepared for my ten day trip back to Ohio for the Thanksgiving holiday, fear overcame me with questions like; “how do I deal with Trump supporters who don’t understand the humanity view I embrace, what if I fall back into my old partying withs with friends, what happens if I can’t handle the energy and scarcity mindset of those who I love?” It was also fear of losing my foundational self and spiritual connection I’ve worked so hard on developing over the past year. I decided I needed to set an intention in order to enjoy the time together with family and friends instead of fearing what might happen. My affirmation that came through became, “I see everyone including myself from a place of compassion.”
COMPASSION- the all encompassing word that stands for unconditional love and forgiveness, free from judgement.
See, going back “home” for me isn’t the same situation as many adults my age who I’m surrounded by now who host get togethers with college roommates, visit mom and dad at home, and have holiday dinner parties in their homes conversing over the success of their company or recent promotion to CEO. It’s more like visiting those who are still alive, not in jail, and seeing the reality of what drug use and generational beliefs of “get a job, work hard, retire in 40 years whether you hate it or not” can fuel a life of complaining about how hard times are now. I don’t have a dad to visit anymore, my old friends are barely making ends meet and some are homeless, and my family does work hard but I wouldn’t say they are in love with their careers.
Where I grew up having a job with benefits is seen as a privilege and I totally honor that decision for people, but it’s not what is for me and my beliefs are more focused on creating a life I adore doing what I love, no matter what my past has been. Again, each of us has our own way to live life fully and for me that is practicing compassion for the choices others make, because when I come from that place I am honoring who I am. Being a healer now and working with others on their beliefs and why they think how they do has been really eye opening for me to understand that we’re all trying.
I say this because I believed the same ideas for decades based on where I live and how those around me lived. I didn’t know any better. But in the past 5 years I’ve chosen to see, believe, and create a new reality. So when I tell you the fears at the forefront of my mind were being judged as different and “better than’ now, or even more so judging those I love for not knowing a different life is possible, I say it from a place of new awareness of acceptance towards others and myself. I don’t like being judged and therefore work on not doing so towards others.
I love all beings and have come to the realization that I never knew there was a life waiting for me full of connection, abundance, and positivity while growing up because I didn’t see it.
We’re not at fault for not knowing, there’s no one to blame for not knowing, and I’m no better than anyone for knowing now that anything is possible when we liberate ourselves from the past.
I’m realizing that choosing compassion to see others fully for who they are, doing the best they can, with what they have is the way to feel proud about where I am in life now and not guilty, either for my success or judgements about what they do, how they live, or what could be possible for them. And what does this have to do with honoring who we are while home for the holidays? It’s all a PRACTICE. Yes, I brought my oracle cards with me for guidance, my crystals to create my altar, and my yoga mat to stay in touch with my body, but it’s not really about the things as it is about being who I am, seeing others with compassion, and making memories that I’ll cherish forever.
My lifestyle isn’t the same as many of my family and friends and that’s absolutely perfect. I’m now surrounded by successful coaches and healers, psychics and authors, and women who are focused on collaboration over competition. It doesn’t mean I’m not still fearful of failing sometimes, or don’t doubt that I’ll be just as successful. It does mean that I see a truth in being who we are, sharing our gifts with the world, and having an inner belief so high that you know it’s all possible, is crucial to creating a beautiful life. We have to set more boundaries around what we allow, who is in our space, and how we deal with the negativity that can make us crazy sometimes. And not trying to figure things out for those around us who we love, because that is up to them, isn’t easy but is a practice in compassion.
Maybe if we let our own ideas of what honoring ourselves needs to look like and just have true compassion for what we choose, whether that’s having too much wine that leads to a soulful conversation with our sister that we could wrap in guilt for “falling into old patterns” or avoiding a confrontational conversation with a family member because we know there is no “right or wrong”, we’ll be more capable of living in the moment…and that is really honoring who are.
I’m not saying let all the work you do for personal and spiritual growth blow out the window while home, but if you set the intention to come from a place of compassion towards others and yourself, you may just go back to life with more beautiful memories and understanding of why those you love are living how they are.
We can never go wrong with compassion.